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Frequently Asked Questions

Who can join BBLSS?

BBLSS is open to all bi-friendly black women without regard to sexual orientation, geographical location, marital- or socio-economic status. Lesbian-identified women have been a part of BBLSS since its inception and are especially welcome. BBLSS is a bi-focused group, however, and BBLSS reserves the right to remove any person (of any orientation) deemed hostile to bisexual women.

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Why is BBLSS exclusive?

BBLSS affords black women a private forum in which to freely discuss issues they feel most comfortable discussing with women from similar cultural backgrounds. More importantly, BBLSS is exclusively black and exclusively female to preserve a safe space in which race-based and gender-based objectification, marginalization, and exploitation is neutralized. As such, BBLSS is an exercise in empowerment, an opportunity to reclaim and redefine our sexuality and womanhood on our terms.

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Is BBLSS interested in collaborative ventures with other organizations?

Absolutely! BBLSS collaborates with other political organizations, health-related associations, and gay-oriented social groups of both genders and all races and sexual orientations. BBLSS is always looking for partnerships in outreach to the bisexual community. Got something in mind? Send us an e-mail.

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Where are the meetings and are they private?

All meetings are private and closed to the general public. We usually hold our meetings in a private room at a gay-friendly restaurant in the Washington, DC area. Only the restaruant staff (usually just one server, also gay) is present. We also hold meetings and/or parties in members’ private homes, too. Some of our meetings may be held at a local lesbian center on an ad hoc basis. The building itself is inconspicuous, and nothing outside the building reads "lesbian" or "bisexual." Most of the meeting rooms are furnished like living rooms, the largest of which can seat about 30 women comfortably.

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I’m closeted and shy. Am I welcome at BBLSS meetings?

Most definitely! Many of our members are closeted to some degree. We have strict rules about confidentiality, and whatever is said or happens at our meetings stays there. Moreover, the meeting participants have a wonderfully friendly rapport and we are eager to meet more women like us! We’re a diverse group and you are sure to meet someone with whom you have a great deal in common. You do not have to talk at BBLSS meetings, but we do ask that you state your first name and online screen name. New(er) people join us for every meeting. You won’t be alone. Still nervous? Feel free to bring a sistah-friend.

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I'm married to a man. Am I welcome in BBLSS?

Absolutely! BBLSS is supportive of bisexual women who partner with men, and many of our members are married.

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Do the meetings cost anything to attend?

Generally there is a $10 minimum for each person when we secure private space in a restaurant, whether you eat or not. Where food and beverages are provided in a member's private home or lesbian center, the facilitator may charge a nominal fee to help cover costs.

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What is the BBLSS Code of Conduct?

1) Reciprocate. Find a way to be of service as others are of service to you. 2) Respect your facilitator. 3) Respect each member's confidentiality. 4) Respect each member's speaking time. 5) Respect the hostesses homes and/or our host establishments. 6) Respect the group’s time. Show for meetings in a timely manner. 7) Refrain from sexual harassment and violence. Mild offenders will be warned. Repeat offenders and extreme offenders will be ousted and banned.

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What is an "official" BBLSS event?

An official BBLSS event is characterized by privacy, safety, and freedom from sexual harassment or criticism related to bisexuality. They are done in collaboration with the BBLSS facilitator(s) and other BBLSS members. We are protective of our members, and work hard to avoid BBLSS being used as an avenue through which sexual predators (of either gender) or gossipmongers exploit ladies coming to terms with their sexuality. Therefore, we screen prospective participants and prospective BBLSS events to make sure they're aligned with our goals. However, BBLSS, like every other organization, is made up of individuals, some of whom may have their own ulterior motives for which the facilitators will not be responsible. We urge all members to exercise the same common sense at BBLSS events that they would in any social setting.

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Are men allowed at BBLSS events?

Unless otherwise indicated, men are NOT allowed at BBLSS events; neither are individuals under age 18, or pets. Furthermore, men and minors are NOT allowed in the BBLSS discussion forum.

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